Love Connection Phase is supposed to follow the Infatuation Phase.
Infatuation vs. Love Connection
Imagine a forest fire. It’s spontaneous, strong and wild. It doesn’t need assistance for it to spread. It can become out of control and destructive. But as time passes, the fire loses it’s life and starts to die. This is how we see the Infatuation Phase.
Now in Love Connection, we picture a fireplace that has a steady roar that gives warmth and pleasant ambiance to the house. The fireplace needs continuous care by adding more logs. Without this effort, the fiercest fire will soon die down to ashes.
As I’ve mentioned before, it’s normal to leave the Infatuation Phase behind. This is how God designed it to be, eventhough how wonderful the feelings of infatuation may be. God wants us to move ahead to Love Connection where the love that we practice is the one described in 1 Corinthians 13:
4 Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love Connection needs effort from the two parties in order to be sustained. The feelings of love will be felt if we make effort to keep the fire burning.
To maintain a balanced emotional ecology you need to
make an effort - think about your spouse during the day,
think about how to make a good thing even better, and act.
- Dr. John Gottman, the foremost marriage scientist in the world.
When couples don’t make effort, the love slowly dies and goes to the devastating phases – Mutual Affection and finally, the Disintegration Phase.
Derived from the book I Choose Us by John Philip and Karen Louis from Louis Counselling and Training Services Pte Ltd. and leaders of Central Christian Church, Singapore.